Journal Entry: July 7th 2013
I believe that part of "growing up," or maybe just growing up for me, is seeing a large part of my life's happiness attributed to the happiness of others. Maybe it's a little selfish of me, to feel better about myself when doing things for others, or maybe that's just the way life should be. I don't know.
In the past when I would see people surpass me with their personal life goals, relationships, etc. I would find myself whole-heartedly joyous for them, but also I would find myself occasionally comparing my own achievements to theirs, and sometimes harboring bouts of jealousy. As I continue to grow I notice these feelings leave me. I understand that I am my own. I am the only one who can make my dreams become realities. I am the only thing that can mold me into what I want me to be exactly. There is no point to compare myself to anything but my past self, and to the self I would like to be.
I notice myself wanting to spend more of my hard earned money on things to make the ones I love smile, writing little notes, calling family more, getting involved, and just...loving more. It's beautiful to see myself unintentionally turning more and more into the woman I hope to be...the kind of woman whose friends and family know they can count on me to be there without judgement and with love. I am proud to know with confidence that I've surrounded myself with kind, loving, good-to-the-bone-people. I am proud to love them.
In the past when I would see people surpass me with their personal life goals, relationships, etc. I would find myself whole-heartedly joyous for them, but also I would find myself occasionally comparing my own achievements to theirs, and sometimes harboring bouts of jealousy. As I continue to grow I notice these feelings leave me. I understand that I am my own. I am the only one who can make my dreams become realities. I am the only thing that can mold me into what I want me to be exactly. There is no point to compare myself to anything but my past self, and to the self I would like to be.
I notice myself wanting to spend more of my hard earned money on things to make the ones I love smile, writing little notes, calling family more, getting involved, and just...loving more. It's beautiful to see myself unintentionally turning more and more into the woman I hope to be...the kind of woman whose friends and family know they can count on me to be there without judgement and with love. I am proud to know with confidence that I've surrounded myself with kind, loving, good-to-the-bone-people. I am proud to love them.
"Happiness is only real when shared."
-Into the Wild
Great Words Mattie
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